I’LL HAVE A BLOODY MARY, A STEAK SANDWICH AAAND A STEAK SANDWICH
Easier than writing lots of individual emailsArchive for Substitute Teaching
REALLY, PUBLIC JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL? REALLY? REALLY.
Ok, so, after a long day of teaching, usually teachers have to race for the bathroom.
Don’t get a lot of bathroom breaks when you’re teaching all day.
Last week, I taught at a local junior high school.
I went to the bathroom after school let out.
Just wanted a moment’s rest and relief.
(is this too personal?)
Whilst sitting there, I looked up and here is the scene that I saw…
-
- The scene from my vantage point (sitting).
-
- A close up of the ‘Reading Material’ offered in the grown up bathroom. Do I need to see this while I’m doing my business?
Really? Really.
Now, between you and me (and the world wide web), I think it’s a bit over the top to continue peddling the school’s philosophical propaganda during the ONLY time when teacher’s can actually take a breather and entertain thoughts of far away beach scenes or breathtaking snow capped mountains from a Swiss tram.
You’ll be interested to know that what I didn’t take a picture of was the new sign telling people how to wash their hands (in response to the Swine Flu …hoax..I mean, panic). Once again, mis-allocated time and money expenditures.
Sigh…
“It’s A Great Day For Learning”
JR HIGHERS KNOW JUST WHAT TO SAY
I taught at La Mesa Jr. High on Thursday
7th grade History.
sidenote: The material topic= Martin Luther’s role in the Reformation. (thanx, God)
THE EXCHANGE
ME-Ok, does anyone have any questions about anything AT ALL (which is code for ‘we can kill some time and get to know each other)?
Girl 1-How old are you?
ME-35
Girl 1 (genuine smile lights up her face as she innocently says)- That’s how old my mom is!
ME-Great. So I could be your mom (said as a quasi statement/question). huh.
Girl 1-When’s your birthday?
ME-end of may, I’ll be 36 in a couple weeks
Girl 1-My mom’s birthday is the end of May too!
ME-Great. So your mom and I are almost the EXACT same age. Mmmmm. (said with a fake smile… intended to get some laughs… it worked).
Girl 2-Do you have any kids?
ME-Nope. However, apparently you could all be my children. (class laughs).
We took a class poll. About 1/3 of the class had a mom or dad that was about 35 yrs old.
Game on
THE RANGE OF INTELLIGENCE WHILST SUBBING 4/14/09
I wish I had the time to blog about all the things that I want to… alas, this season of my life just isn’t allowing for it.
HOWEVER, the following 2 incidents and contrasts made me laugh and feel smart aaand stupid…
THE SETTING: Subbing at Valencia High. Honors pre-Calc and Italian 1
ITALIAN 1; class discussion time; discussion question: Has anything worth talking about happened in anyone’s life since I was here 2 months ago?’
GIRL: (sweet and church going): well, on Easter we went to the shelter
ME: cool. which one?
GIRL: the one in Castaic
ME: (scrolling in my brain for which homeless shelter is in castaic?) Wait, is this a shelter for humans or animals
GIRL: (asked with great sincerity) they sell humans there too?
(whole class shocked and laughing)
ME: (tilted head and looking at her) Ok, you just won quote of the day
GIRL: (still confused, amidst whole class laughing …and now applauding her for winning ‘quote of the day’) no really? do they sell humans?
ME: what’s amazing to me is that you think that selling humans is an acceptable activity?
GIRL: (you can see the wheels turning in her brain….and then the bashful look when she realized how off she was)
HONORS PRE-CALC: me walking around and discovering this on a student’s desk
VHS pre-calc student recreation
ME: Whoa. Is this a rubik’s cube on crack?
GUY: yeah. it’s a 7 sided by 7
ME: that freaks me out. have you ever solved it?
GUY: (dead serious) yeah. I’ve already solved it twice today
ON MY MIND (OR MY CALENDAR) 3/13/09
Again with the brief, bullet point update . . .
1) In the last 4 days have unintentionally bit the inside of my lip at least 9 times … it’s getting old…and the inside of my lip looks like hamburger…sick
2) wish that people (especially Christians) would stop using their Facebook status updates to complain…(especially about the new home page). Seriously people… note that the words reveal the heart.
3) Have subbed kind of a lot in the last few weeks… wish i had time to post the stories … a few times they’ve made me laugh out loud (for good and bad reasons)
4) Just learned that my ‘new’ roommate (she moved in in January) is actually 27 years old . . . this whole time i thought she was 20ish (though she is totally mature and now i can see that 27 makes sense). This just reinforces that I dig Icelanders!
5) Found a new show that i love (thanx Video On Demand), Kitchen Nightmares . . . I’ve actually learned alot about myself whilst watching the restaurant owners who have asked for help. As jennene put it ‘those shows are the redemption story’… failure, an expert comes in, the failing owner fights the expert, in the end the failing owner yields and is dumbfounded with how awesome the experts advice worked and is then So grateful to the expert and so ashamed of themselves . . . huh… sinner, savior, sacrifice, repentance, gratitude . . .
6) Have started sorting through all my financial records that i should’ve been doing in the last few months (in prep for tax drama). MAN, i wish I had taken the ’slow and steady wins the race’ option on this project
7) Am about to close another escrow next week. Well, it’s never over until it’s over.
My tooth hurts again…. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to deal with it soon
9) Jennene still has cancer, but is over 2/3 done with chemo! And, we’ve got a good system going for this ‘Cancer Season’.
10) Was a part of Adam & Megan’s wedding reception last weekend. Always amazed at how willing the body of Christ is to just shut up and joyfully work hard to achieve other people’s worthwhile goals!
11) Eric Margrave has made me laugh a lot in the last few weeks!
12) Finally, plowed into my burgeoning GoogleReader posts (300+) … now down to under 60 (well, not counting the starred items 
)
13) Am wanting to travel (international, but it will be a while, unless someone wants to throw down some sweet moolah)
14) Had dinner with Stonefire ith a former RA the other night. So fun and refreshing
15) Got to talk to one of my cousins the other night … she’s so great and amazing and delightful!
16) Have been reading lots of real estate stuff (career development)
17) Have a huge To-Do list that never seems to get smaller … don’t we all
STUFF 2/16/09
It’s been a long time since I’ve done a worthy update…and will continue to be a long time, as this won’t be worthy. This is a shorty…
I can barely remember what my name is let alone remember what I’ve been up to the last few weeks, but I will give it a whirl.
-Have subbed high school and have had some GREAT class discussions ranging from Valentine’s plans to theistic evolution to predestination to world travel to robotic inventions to Octomom to politics… and I have those same students again this week! I love them.
-Have learned more and more about technology as a result of real estate and cancer. Who knew!
-Have been negotiating deals for clients and love the litigious state of California more than ever…who doesn’t LOVE tedious paperwork?
-Have been to more medical facilities than usual and hung out in oncology
-Have been duly noting the drying up of the ‘creative juices’ well when it comes to catchy titles for Jennene’s cancer blog posts
-Have been incredibly thankful for the body of Christ and the Worship team
-Have had lots more time with Jennene then maybe any other time in our almost 20year friendship! Thanx, cancer.
-Went diving at Catalina this last weekend. Loved that whilst standing on shore and putting on my wetsuit about to get into the ocean, I could look across the water at the snow capped San Gabriel mountains. Come on! California is awesome!
-Have been thankful for my roommates and LOVE the fact that there are foreign languages spoken in my home. I love walking up the stairs and hearing Icelandic conversations wafting in the background!!!!
-Have gotten to meet for lunch/dinner with some people I’ve been meaning to for a while
-Attended the anual Arts in The One World conference at Cal-Arts in January. Met cool people and learned/saw amazingly cool/heartbreaking things.
-Have had some great ‘catch up’ phone calls with old friends
-Have spent more money on my car (that whole ’seat belt law’ thing)
-Have been really thankful for lots of things, in general
-Have consistently been 200+ posts behind on my googlereader
-Have learned 2 new songs for Worship team that I like. Thanx, Chuck Hooten for one of them.
-Have seen a couple of movies (cancer down time and other). Sidenote: I want a dad or a husband like the main character in TAKEN. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a while!
-Have been pondering, again, my role in the abolition of human traffiking and how to show the gospel in rescue/justice
-Have been really really tired, but stoked about Heaven (capitalized. it’s a proper noun).
Aaaand now I’d like to go to bed.
THAT’S how tired I am…it’s only 10:15pm and i want to go to bed already.
WHILE IT’S NO CANCER…
Sooo, as noted in the previous post, Jennene has cancer. And, while that’s going to bring about some new ways of doing things, in the meantime the rest of the world and it’s goings on never seem to slow up.
Here’s an example… I’ve been sick since the night before Thanksgiving. Including Thanksgiving Day, I was in bed for a solid week. Then I had about 5 days of a reprieve during which time I taught at a junior high and a high school…germs never linger in those stomping grounds and they never go after weakened immune systems. And then I was/am in bed again. So, today, in fact, right this moment, marks my 3 week anniversary of having this bronchitus/flu plague that many people have had this season. One way that I’m celebrating is by staying in bed as much as possible.
Another,’ in honor of my 3 week anniversary’ celebration, and at the advice of 2 people, I went out and bought myself a ‘Neti Pot’.
Google it and then enjoy the Youtube videos demonstrating its’ use. Then find the guy that deviates from the healing saline solution and ventures to the coffee & wine (warning: he does swear at the end). For more entertainment, find the guy who does homeopathic remedies ‘white trash’ style (also swears). Wow.
In reality, when you get past the fact that you’re shoving a tea pot spout up your nose, it’s actually an amazingly relieving process…like a hot tub experience for your nasal pasages (and I didn’t swear).
In the last 3 weeks, I have
-spent more time in uniform than not
-coughed so hard that I’m pretty sure I have bruised/injured a rib on my right side (should I start Ace bandaging now)
-not had to feign ‘being awakened’ when i answer the phone
-had more non-doctors give me their unsolicited expert ‘diagnosis’ than is appropriate …even my bank teller had a few ‘you need to’ action items after hearing my cough.
-grown somewhat immune to codeine cough syrup
-felt like someone packed my nasal pasage with wet cement
-have sneezed so violently, I think I’m joking (but I’m not)
-have wondered if someone boxed my ears while I was sleeping
-started coughing almost everytime I start talking…hmmm…maybe there’s a correlation…and an exhortation
-woken up with a raging headache 70% of the time
-refined my ‘Harvey Fierstein’ voice impressions
-been really stoked my branding color is green, cuz I’ve been coughing up LOTS of it
-my eyes burning like little infernos; impairing my vision from time to time
-have dragged myself out of bed only for the ‘essentials’ (church Christmas service/rehearsals, RA Elf reunion party (!), client tasks cuz some agents still fax (?!?!?), finally turning the heater on today…1st time this winter, email/facebook, best friend’s post cancer diagnosis dinner, neti pot purchase and usage, the occasional shower, etc.)
-debated if I’m faking it or not; I always think I’m faking it. But, once I am better, the difference is so vast, that I realize I wasn’t faking it.
Have you experienced anything similar? If so, what are your remedies? What’s your expert opinion?
KID NAMES
I have several friends who are ‘with child’ and inevitably this question is asked, ‘So, have you guys thought of names yet?’
As is the trend, people are keeping it a secret, but taking submissions.
Who knew that CakeWrecks would be the source of the most bizarre and UN-acceptable names I have EVER heard of for children? But, humanity never ceases to amaze… I wonder if any of my friends will consider these 2 names… You know how families have favorite movies? I wonder if this family gathers round to cozy up with a blanket and the collector’s edition of American History X.
I haven’t been able to use the categories ‘creepy’ and ‘ridiculous headlines’ in a long time. Thanx, CakeWrecks!
BONUS THOUGHT
AND, I just thought of subbing for the classes that these kids are in and having to take roll by calling out their names! Oh, MAN, I wish it could be!
MY 7th & 8th GRADERS FROM MON/TUES
As usual, I love these guys…
On Monday & Tuesday, I subbed at La Mesa Junior High for ‘Resource’ kids which basically means ‘not as smart or as disciplined as the other kids, but we cover it up with labels like ‘ADD’ etc. and then throw more tax dollars at it.’ While some of the kids really do need extra help, the majority of the drama comes from issues of discipline and focus and self control.
Soooo, I had them for 2 days. In addition to the discipline paragraph that I use for individual discipline, we also had a class behavior competition going: all classes competing against each other over the course of the 2 days. Stars represent good behavior, checks represent bad.
TWO AMAZING THINGS HAPPENED
1) Over the course of the 2 days, the class grid only had STARS…NO checks!!! In my 4 years of subbing, Stars only had NEVER happened.
2) Day one had many paragraphs (testing the boundaries), day two had none!
These kids really worked hard! They reminded each other to do their class work, learn and to behave themselves! They were polite. They were willing to serve each other. They really got the ‘Teamwork’ concept.
Awww, tear.
PS-Each class period, I try to dedicate a certain amount of time and let them ask me ‘any questions about anything at all’. On Tuesday, the kid who gets in trouble the most asked me ‘What’s the meaning of life?’. I confirmed that he really wanted to hear my answer. He confirmed.
I said that the meaning of life is to fear God and keep His commandments as that is the whole duty of man. To my delight, 2 other students chimed in and their comments led to a discussion of the Bible, the Trinity, Jesus dying on the cross…before I knew it they were well down the path of sharing the gospel (without knowing it). I love when they innocently say ‘Miss Neylan, doesn’t the Bible say…’ and we get to talk about what that ‘piece of literature’ says.
UPDATE:
Also, some of them had time to do my staple assignment of 10-things-about-me-that-miss-neylan-might-find-interesting2 …as you read it, maybe their spelling, grammar AND content will remind you to pray for America’s youth, will remind you to pray for America’s teachers, and will remind you that what fills their time, thoughts, dreams is incredibly worldy and void of almost all things related to God…the One who provides salvation, hope, love, forgiveness, joy, contentment…
(if the doc doesn’t work, will someone please let me know via a comment?)
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 5th, 2008: HIGHLIGHTS
On a day that was advertised to be charged with historical intensity and discord, I experienced many blogable vignettes, both pleasant and unpleasant. You decide which is which.
As is my bullet point style…
-The voting poll that was 50 ft from my house had voters screaming, at 7am, ‘Go Obama!’. Not annoying at all, since I was still debating if I should hit snooze one more time. By 7:45, I drove by the line that was out the door, into the street…and in the rain. Soooo, since I had to be at school by 8:15am, I knew I’d have to find another poll sometime during the day to cast my vote.
-I taught for the 2nd day in an 8th grade Science class. I used my prep period to attempt to get voting done in that 50 minute time frame (including driving, lines, actually voting, driving back, signing back in to school, being ready at the door for students greetings). The poll location that was closest to the school was at Friendly Valley’s Retirement Rec center. Here’s why voting there was my new favorite
1. There were American flags everywhere!
2. I shut my car door, went and voted, and was back in my car in 10 minutes
3. During the experience, I spoke with three different poll workers and ALL of them were pleasant. Whilst doing some paperwork, I chatted with the older gentlemen assigned to me. This was his 5th presidential election for which he’s worked the polls. Twenty years…20 years!!! Wow. I asked him questions and felt like I might want to volunteer here next time around…I bet I could learn a lot about our U.S. history by hanging out with people who have fought in it.
4. The room was filled with war veterans. There’s something inspiring and gut-wrenching about voting in a room full of people who fought and sacrificed to preserve my freedom and privilege to vote.
5. I left teary-eyed…I love the democratic process. I was overwhelmed with the ease of casting my vote and being heard…I flashed on other countries where people can’t vote or have fear of death if they turn out to polls. It’s good to be an American…oh, and I want to vote at Friendly Valley for every election!
-During the school day, I had yet another encounter with the liberal agenda in the public school system. That’s a whole other post. Let’s just say this snipet epitomizes it all…
Admin: ‘As educators, even if kids ask us specific questions, we don’t give our opinions.’
Me: ‘Huh. As educators, shouldn’t we be giving them information on the issues about which they’re asking?’
Admin: (lumberg style), ‘yeeaaah, I know what you mean, but even if they ask, we as educators shouldn’t give our own opinion. It’s actually a rule.’
Me: ’A rule? Really? Hmmm, where is that rule located cuz I’m going to need to see that in writing, please’.
Admin: ‘Well, it’s not really a written rule. It’s more like an implied rule.’
Me: (nodding my head in an ‘oh, really’ kind of way), ‘Ohhh, implied. ok.’
(rolling my eyes in my heart, keeping my temper controlled, asking the LORD to give me an eternal perspective and mentally muttering, ‘yeah, we as educators don’t give opions unless we have liberal opinions and then that unwritten rule never existed and we go on to say whatever we want’).
-Went to the always-packed IN-and-Out for a quick dinner. I walked in and it felt like a Stephen King movie…only the workers, 2 customers, and the endless stark whiteness. Insert eery music. I asked a worker why it was so desolate. He smiled and said, ‘Election day. Everyone is standing in line voting.’
-Around 6pm, I was at the cashier counter of a dept store and the female cashier (about 50 years old) asked if I’d voted yet…here’s how it went…
ME: I sure did. I was in and out in 10 minutes. It was great. Have you voted yet?
CASHIER: Not yet. But now I think I might be changing my mind
ME: Changing your mind? About who to vote for or whether or not to actually vote?
CASHIER: Whether or not to vote.
ME: What? Why?
CASHIER: (somewhat whiny, but smiling) I’m tired. Why? Do you think I should?
ME: Absolutley I think you should vote.
CASHIER: Why?
ME: Because it’s a privilege to vote and your vote matters. Think of all the countries in the world that don’t have a voting process or where women aren’t allowed to vote. Please go vote. You can sleep later. you can only vote once every four years. Please. Really. Go vote.
CASHIER: (smiling) You’re right. Ok, you’ve convinced me. I will go vote.
I hope she did.
-At rehearsal, we were about to do our last song when our sound guy interrupted saying, ‘This just in: per CNN, our new president elect has been named: Obama.’ Our whole team was silent for a few moments. We said a few things about God’s will and then started our song. (I remember where I was when Clinton was elected and I remember feeling despair and being dumbfounded with Americans. Fortunately, this time I am at a different spot spiritually and I welcome His will, through Obama’s presidential election.) As the music started for the song, I thought, ‘Here’s another moment in time that I won’t ever forget. Where i was and what i was doing when I learned that Obie had been elected.’ And then we sang ‘Heart of Worship’. It was cool to find out major political news in the midst of worshipping the LORD…God is huge, man is small. Man makes his plans, God directs his path. Here’s to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit…and here’s to humbly yielding to to all three of them.
Today, a friend of mine who was born in/lives in another country, sent me an email asking my reaction to the Obama result. I didn’t have time to fully respond, but I did say that ‘eternity is still as sweet a hope today as it was yesterday’. As I was driving to an appt. I realized that I hadn’t said why…I think I might’ve forgotten why…so, i answered it to myself out loud in the car…
It’s still as sweet a hope not because of anything political, but rather because of Jesus. The central issue is still the gospel. Always has been and always will be. It’s quieting to think that all this political hoopla (yeah, I said hoopla, Kristin) pales in comparison to the praise that Jesus deserves and will eventually get.
KIDS ASK THE DARNDEST THINGS
SO, today I “taught” 8th grade math at Placerita junior high.
In compliance with my class policy “when I ask ‘does anyone have any questions about anything at all?’, you can ask me anything you want…that’s appropriate for the classroom of course”, I fielded lots of questions from 5 classes…here are a few highlights…and it gives you an insight as to how many different levels of maturity that a teacher is dealing with in a classroom…everyday. (as an example: I had one boy run into class about 20 minutes late…he thought it was Thursday, all day, and had been sitting in the wrong class for the 1st 20 minutes of class. he has other strengths.)
-Who are you voting for?
-What will you dress up as for Halloween?
-Do you like pop tarts?
-What does religion have to do with politics?
-What’s your favorite candy?
-What’s your favorite amusement park ride?
-What do you fear the most?
-Chocolate of vanilla ice cream?
-Are you voting yes or no on Prop 8?
You can imagine which questions generated better class discussions than others.
SINCE LAST TIME…
Welp, since I last wrote…
-I haven’t slept much
-I taught 2 days of 7th/8th grade ELD I, II, III classes…which are students who don’t speak English (on 3 levels)…DEFINITELY some hidden camera show moments…as you know, I am not bi-lingual
-Went diving on Catalina: it was more of a ‘trial & error’ trip, as it was the 1st completely ‘independent of all supervision’ dive trip for both Mike & I. We didn’t die, so that’s good.
-Worked for a week as an office manager at a manufacturing plant…they make jet parts (might have mentioned that earlier)
-Showed houses and wrote 2 offers for 2 different clients
-Tried to connect over the phone with a SD friend …dueling schedules making it prohibitive
-Have spent lots and lots of time doing worship team stuff
-Went out on a limb and tried a new set of toppings at Subway: spinach, feta cheese and Greek sauce…yes, please.
-Had meetings with ICU president, Amelia, regarding the Man Pageant ‘08 (which is in 2 days: THursday!) and had meetings at VHS with other students
-Spent time with Valeria and Lindsay (my eyebrows and hair are so thankful); was also a witness to radically beneficial changes for Mike B.
-Visited Curt’s renowned grounds in Box Canyon
-Hung out with the Brocks: special time, field trips, meetings, weddings….
-Lured friends into ‘ .99 Taco Mondays’ at La Rumba …I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a staple event!
-Had my 1st ‘House Meeting’ with my new roommates…went great…haven’t seen them since (it was 2 weeks ago)
-Started a new book during my lunch break for ELD subbing…pretty good…once again, I love the WWII era
-Called the sherrif 2x due to unruly neighbors who loudly rev up around 11:45pm…on Saturday
I wish I could give more highlights, but gotta run…
‘YES. I WILL BE COLLECTING THIS ASSIGNMENT’
The post title is a common answer that I give when I’m subbing. The question that’s asked is usually asked of teachers multiple times a day and it usually indicates a student’s evaluation process of how lazy they can be without suffering a bad grade. If the answer is ‘No, this is class work’, chances are good that they won’t actually do the assignment. If the answer is ‘Yes, this will be graded’, chances are good that 50% of them will not want an ‘F’ on the assignment and consequenlty, will actually do the assignment.
Sooooo, I say ALL that to introduce 2 standard assignment compilations…
Let me set the stage though and ask something of you. Imagine yourself standing in front of 6 different classes of 30+ students in each class period. Imagine you introducing yourself, laying down the law, and then opening it up for them to ask you anything they want (that’s appropriate, of course). Imagine yourself looking at them and them at you, imagine their side comments, imagine your desire to use every answer to hook them, to challenge them, to broaden their understanding, to protect them, to show them love, to make them laugh, to relate to them, to actually educate them…
So, NOW, as you read their questions of me or their statements about themselves, imagine that it’s you standing there…what would you say to them? How would you answer sincere questions from teeanagers?
1. 10 THINGS ABOUT ME THAT MISS NEYLAN MIGHT FIND INTERESTING
10-things-about-me-that-miss-neylan
2. Based on our class discussion yesterday, what 10 questions would you like to ask Miss Neylan
vhs-period-4-avid-hw-assignment1
Teachers have such an immense and profound opportunity every time they stand up in front of a group of students and they open their mouths (or don’t open their mouths). My hat’s off to all you teachers who use your role in life for their ultimate good…often it’s not the popular position. But, we all know, they NEED people like you to strive for their ultimate good…because most of the rest of the world is happy to devour their minds and lives.
So, though some are funny, their questions represent world views…or the lack of them. Their questions represent truths and lies, sorrows and joys, knowns and unknowns…things that they really are stumbling through in life.
LET THE GAMES BEGIN
Well, as usual, substitute teaching never fails to provide insight, sadness, hilarity, direction, bewilderment, rage, joy, hope, education…and questions.
Last week was my first sub job for the fall 2008 semester. And the sweet cherubs did not dissappoint.
Here is the first installment of fun…
THE BACKGROUND
A very popular trend in the ‘education’ world is for students to write in a font that looks like they are a tagging gangbanger (cuz nothing says ‘I’m cool AND I’m smart’ than engaging in hoodlum activities). On Thursday, I confiscated this note (click here: confiscated-note-vhs-aug-28-20080001) from a freshman girl* in the Read 180 class. She chose to write her note according to the gangbanging trend. Please, please note how hilarious the reader’s reply is.
THE NOTE
And, the letter for letter translation for those of us who are not tagging gangbangers, goes like this
A-To _____
I an for contin at you fool So yeah my bad I jus hav3 a bad t3mp3r so srry bout da shyt that w3nt down
physco aka _____
B-Haha KK i suk at reading, do you mean there’s no beef between us?
A-Yeah that is actually wat I am saving so we cool now
*On Friday, through a class discussion, I learned that the author’s father died 4 years ago from a drug overdose. She sits next to the kid who’s mom died 3 years ago from breast cancer. The goal is to figure out how to balance laying down the law, still showing them compassion…AND teaching them something that the state requires.
16 HOUR DAY…SO GREAT!
Today was a very full day….
For the last 1.5 days I’ve been praying…praying that they’d like me and that I’d like them. The first day is critical…it’s the set-up for all the other days that I will be with them. God proved to be SO gracious and kind, as always. Today was my first day back to subbing!!!
I subbed at VHS…Jennene’s classes actually. 6 periods. Approx 130 students, each having their own ideas, their own lives, their own experiences. We had a GREAT day…thanx be to God!!!! Our class discussions included: value systems, the basis of right and wrong, war, voting, freedom, traveling, cats vs. dogs (dogs of course), careers, murder, exotic foods, expectations/realities of high school, people who have influenced you, etc... it was a fantastic start to another year of subbing! During brunch, one of my students came in early and hung out. I asked questions…turns out his mom died 3 years ago from breast cancer. I asked more questions and he was very humbly open. At one point I asked him about church etc. (they go to a Lutheran church). He ended up saying, ‘I keep asking the LORD to take away the pain, so that I can live a normal life. So that I won’t cry every second.’ It took ALL i had to not break into tears… for him and his brother and his dad. It was just another reminder that each kid has a story; each kid has need; each kid needs hope.
After school, I ran over to meet Luke to pick up/set up a closing gift for one of my first time buyers whose sale was scheduled to close today. During that car ride, I got the call that the Tatlock’s house closed escrow! Yay!! During the set-up, I got the call that my first time buyer’s deal had actually closed escrow (the one for which we were setting up the gift). Luke and I ended up at Subway and she met us there to pick up her keys…it’s SO rewarding when a client is satisfied. In addition to a closed sale for me, I feel like I gained a new friend…and she’s my new neighbor too! After giving her her new green keychain and house key, I ran over to show houses to a new set of clients. They are so great; so balanced, so calm, so realistic. What wasn’t great is that I drank 2 HUGE cups of beverage at Subway…and was about to burst during our showings (in vacant houses with no utilities). I think my bladder now has irrepairable damage. When we finished at the last house, I sped off to the closest restaurant and sprinted into the bathroom. After emptying my overtaxed bladder (much akin to Austin Powers), I drove to meet the next set of clients to show them a house that has not come on the market yet. Apart from being grateful for having clients, I’m incredibly grateful that I always seem to have super cool clients! God is so kind!
In between all of the above activities, I also received a zillion voicemails and so tried to return them all whilst driving (on speaker). I got to the Brock’s around 8:30pm and talked with Brad. I got home around 11:30pm. Though I’m tired, I am so thankful that the dominoe effect was all GOOD today, rather than something else!
2 CONS FOR THE DAY
1) I wore the wrong shoes today…wish I was back in Thailand getting a 2 hour foot/leg massage.
2) It was SO feakin’ HOT…perfect for showing vacant houses…not really.
CLASS DISCUSSION
So, one of my aunts is a rep for an academic program called ‘READ 180′ …which is a program that is designed to help at-risk kids get some extra help. My experience with READ 180 is feeling like I’m on a real life set for Dangerous Minds: gang bangers, kids making out on the desks, the 2 kids that actually want to learn sitting there while the rest of the class is throwing gang signs and mocking the elementary principles of education…but, the sign throwers actually aren’t smart…and if anyone NEEDED what READ 180 offers, it’s them. So, God love my aunt, who is tirelessly trying to train and support teachers who face the challenge everyday. I was recently out to dinner with her and she gave me a resource poster from her READ 180 materials: “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” from There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk by Portia Nelson. I thought it was really cool and I instantly thought of how to use it to generate meaningful and hopefully thought-provoking dialogue for my classes this year. I think it’s a picture of the progression of maturity and wisdom, characterized by taking responsibility for one’s own actions (which is a very foreign concept to most of the kids I work with, excluding our ICU kids, of course :) ).
I think I might have my students read it, describe it’s meaning, and then decide which chapter they themselves are currently in (and why, etc).
CHAPTER ONE
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
CHAPTER TWO
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
CHAPTER THREE
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
it is MY fault.
I get out immediately.
CHAPTER FOUR
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
CHAPTER FIVE
I walk down another street.
This will feed nicely into my ‘CHOICES’ paragraph that I use for standards. Life is about decision making (and God’s grace)…and about courage to truthfully evaluate the decisions that we make…and then take responsibility for them.
There are several verses that are in my head right now…about salvation, wisdom, grace, forgiveness, observation, sanctification…It’s powerful to reflect on the fact that ‘walking down a different street’ (everyday) is so relevant to the Christian life, not just the teenager’s life.
I’ll keep you posted on how it goes with the kids….how about you? which chapter are you in?
GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!
It seems that many of you readers enjoy the stories that I live through my substitute teaching experiences. I agree, it’s good stuff. So, here are some highlights/lowlights from my last 3 days subbing for the Spring ‘08 semester. Spoiler Alert: some graphic moments
THE SCENE: 7th grade science classes at La Mesa Junior High; the last week of school
1. I generally don’t look , in advance, at the worksheets that the teacher gives me to handout…in this class, she’s a good teacher and they usually know what to do with the information…so, I learned the hard way that the worksheet topics this time were ‘HIV transmission’….journey with me…
the class is quietly working on their own, I am at the desk reading real estate materials and I get the following questions (and my replies and/or the classmate replies)
Q (nerdy male student)-asked sincerely, ‘Miss Neylan, what’s anal penetration?’
A (me)- furrowed brow, trying to quickly and subtley figure out why I’d be asked this question…as I realize it’s a worksheet question, ’seriously?’
Q-’yeah, what is that?, I’ve never heard of it’ (as the other students are snickering, rolling their eyes, and waiting for me to answer)
A-I tilt my head and regrettably say ‘it’s from behind’, my internal monologue begins the diatribe as to why the state should not be involved in sex ed
Q-’From behind? what do you mean?’
A-neighbor girl student irritatedly says ‘dude, it’s in the butt’…the asker looks astonished and gets that shamed look on his face and giggles
Q-my inner monologue continues with the backwardsness of state ‘education’ and how this little 7th grade boy was just forced into a realm of life that he was clearly not ready for…where are parents? etc etc etc
2. Again, everyone working quietly
Q-(7th grade girl, dressed like a scank with the body of a 22yr old hottie on MTV), asked in a genuienly confused manner, ‘Miss Neylan, it says that one way to avoid getting HIV is abstinence from sex until you’re married…and then only having sex with your spouse. What does marriage have to do with anything? Why are they talking about marriage when they talk about HIV…what do they have to do with each other?’
A-(me) ‘Well, in a perfect world if everyone waited to have sex with just their spouse, very few people would actually have HIV..obviously there are other ways of getting it, but it would be dramatically lower if people only had sex with their spouse..only… ever…’
Q-’but what if you have HIV before you’re married?’
A-’well, again, in a perfect world, you wouldn’t have it before you’re married because no one would be having sex except with their spouse..so they could not have gotten it..well, besides in a transfusion or a needle.’
Q-(genuinely confused and thinking it’s absurd), ‘I just don’t see what marriage has to do with any of it, why does it matter if you’re married?
A-someone else chimed in and she just rolled her eyes and didn’t buy that you should have sex only with the person you’re married to
I also took the opportunity to tell them how powerful the spread of HIV has been (on the heels of having sex with whomever you want)…when I was in 7th grade it was drug education and HIV was RARELY even mentioned because it wasn’t really a problem..so, in just 20ish years HIV has become pandemic…hmmmm, I wonder if it has something to do with the choices most people are making.
3. Again, everyone working quietly
Q-(asked by a mouthy rat male boy), ‘Miss Neylan, why did they name it semen?’ (he snickers)
A-matter of factly, like I talk about semen everyday, ‘mmmm, I have no idea. Why don’t you look it up? MIght want to refer to the ancient greeks or italians’
Q-’oh. well, it sounds like someone who works on a boat’
A-(knowing he’s just showing off), ‘Oh yeaaaah, same sounding word, spelled differently, S-E-A-M-A-N
Q-nodding in understanding, ‘oh’ (clearly discouraged he didn’t get a rise out of me)
4. Last year, I taught an SAT prep class last year after school. The kids were great, hard working, and many of them passed the SAT’s on their first try (with high scores for a 7th grader). One of the girls came in to my classroom on Tuesday and asked me to sign her year book. Awwwwww. While she’s the size of the traveling gnome, she speaks to me like she’s 43 years old. She’s unique in the sea of average 7th & 8th graders at La Mesa. She wished me a great summer, asked what I was doing, thanked me for teaching her SAT class and science classes, and left with her little yearbook. I’m pretty sure she’s going to discover the cure for cancer or HIV or something on par.
5. Alex has trouble doing his work, being respectful, not mouthing off, etc. Alex has this problem EVERY time I teach this class..so for a year I have experienced this behavior. On Tuesday, Alex earned 6 paragraphs due to his incessant disrespect etc. (he started with one, then he mouthed off and earned another then he refused to do them and therefore earned a total of 6). He refused to answer my questions about why he was making these choices etc. I gave him a mini-lecture about righting wrongs, offered him the opportunity to apologize (he refused) etc. He refused so vehemently that I offered to wipe out the 6 paragraphs if he would simply apologize for what he had done (and had always done). He refused on a level that was astounding. I gave him 4 different opportunities to stop writing and just apologize. Nope. He didn’t finish the 6 paragraphs so he earned lunch detention, wherein he was supposed to finish the parapgraphs. Next day, he didn’t have his paragraphs and had to do them in class…still refusing to apologize.
I thought to myself, that this is how I must look to God. He wants the best for me, I do something that is bad for me AND deserves punishment, He offers me a free and gracious way out if I would simply humbly confess it, I refuse and make it worse…huh.
Anyway, if soemthing doesn’t change, Alex has a real rough road ahead of him in life (and so do all the authorities that are in his future). He’s also little in stature, so I’m hoping that he gets his butt whooped by some bullies soon. Sometimes that helps kids like him. Sometimes.
Kind of like how some of us have to get knocked around by life/our choices before we yield to God’s best.
6. A nice enough kid, trying to be cool by wearing long saggy pants with the crotch at his knees (but can’t pull off the gang banger attitude that goes with it)…I watch him as he walks across the room after sharpening his pencil and I chuckle to myself about his efforts to be cool… but dude, saggy pants are not cool when they’re denim white. I kid you not. His ghetto-gang banger pants were white denim. It was like West Side Story, but not. Awwww, he’s sweet for tyring.
Well, that’s it for Spring 2008. I assume the sub stories will resume again in September.
2 ‘FIRSTS’ WHILST SUBBING YESTERDAY
I’ve been subbing for almost 4 years now, so my ‘firsts’ are getting fewer and fewer. HOWEVER, yesterday I had 2!
1. 3 kids gleefully (and unsolicited by me) gave me their MySpace urls. Really? Really. I repeatedly told them I probably would not contact them, but they insisted. I told them to google me and if they contacted me, i MIGHT reply. It was a little creepy and kind of cool that the internet could allow some of us to stay in touch.
2. It was the last period of the day, 5 kids left in the classroom and were leaving for the day. All of the sudden, one girl started screaming and tearing her backpack and jacket off of herself. I generally don’t react to things like this, I just wait to see what happens when the dust settles. As she got her backpack off and continued to scream, she finally said ‘There’s a cockroach on me’. In my heart I kind of rolled my eyes with an ‘oh, really?’, I looked down and sure enough, I looked on the floor and there was a large disgusting cockroach. Due to my recent fascination with a show called Verminators, I knew just how disgusting this creature was and what it’s presence meant. I have NO idea how/why this cockroach was in the classroom ON this poor little girl. The BEST part of the whole thing was that ANOTHER girl told everyone to calm down (the 2 boys in the room), as she nonchalantly got a piece of paper, scooped it up and took it outside.
I have 3 days of subbing left on the calendar….I hope I get a few more firsts!
YET AGAIN, WHY I LOVE 8TH GRADERS..
SO, I subbed at Placerita Jr High on Thursday & Friday (and will have the same classes on Tuesday). I’ve subbed for this group all year and they are one of the BEST group of classes ever. The teacher must be amazing!
ANYwho…they had a test on Friday and I was sure that there would be extra time for those who finished early and down time is not good in jr high. Therefore, i gave them a post-test assignment: answer three questions
1) if your class period wins the class competition, what would you want as a prize?
2) which hairstyle of mine do you like more and why?
3) what are you doing over Memorial Day weekend?
NOW, in order to enjoy some of the highlight answers, you need this background info…on Thursday I had curled my hair (like farah or mariah) and looked like a real estate agent. On Friday, I did not curl my hair, I simply blew it dry and it looked akin to a biker’s girlfriend…and I wore jeans & a hoodie.
From 5 classes, 69 students finished their test with time to spare, so here are some of the highlights from their answers (click on the doc link) 8th-grade-survey-of-hair-etc1 …. they totally believe themselves
THIS is why I love them….SO hilarious!
WEEKS OF WHIRLWIND
Weeeeell, helloooooo there!
It seems that a long time has passed since I last wrote.
Here are the highlights of my time ‘away’
1. I started subbing for a 7th & 8th grade set of classes (1-2 times a week). They’re kind of considered ‘bad kids’, but we’ve found our groove (after a big up-front battle). Today was my last day with them…I’ll be back to host the ‘winners’ party (we had a behavior based class competition).
2. The Driscoll family welcomed our first great-grandchild into the world!!!
3. I went to Washington for a week to help my mom with a conference that she was running. My mom is cool and funny and awesome and I was really thankful to get to hang out with her (and her people). She also had some pretty funny quotables. Whilst in WA, I also did the following: hung out with Erin Jacobsen, Jai & Sten A, Dave & Emily V, the Musulmans, Janae L, 24 Hour Fitness & LA Fitness. In 7 days, I enjoyed Mercer Island, Bellevue, Arlington, Olympia, Seattle, Kent, and Tukwila.
4. I’ve shown lots of homes, navigated through one client’s loan approval saga (we persevered and he closes escrow this Friday!), put in an offer on a short pay last week, awaiting a few client’s timeframe for their offers.
5. Went to several graduation parties and was proud of the graduate’s hard work!
6. Read these 2 books. Loved both, but REALLY loved Under The Banner of Heaven. Wow.
Under the Banner of Heaven is about religious fanaticism, particulalry in the fundementalist Mormon polygamist camps. Incredibly FASCINATING and horrifying and humbling.
7. Met with a former RA, Courtney, who was in town for graduation..it was a delight and a blessing to share life with her. Some people are just a breath of fresh air…like water to a weary traveler!
8. Have been reconnected with lots of people from the past: Thanx, Facebook-you’re sweet. aaand, I love your flair.
Ok, while there was more, that’s enough for now! Because I am preparing to go to SF this weekend for my dear cousin, Michelle’s, graduation from UC Berkeley! We’re SO proud of her!!!! In addition to celebrating with her on Friday, our big Irish family will also be attending the Scottish/Irish festival on Saturday in Livermore! THEN, I will also be visiting the Seelyes and the Harvs! Another whirlwind!
REVIEW
I’ve been quiet on this front due to a non-stop schedule. Here’s the recap:
2/21-Thursday
-Threw out my back
2/22-Friday
-Flew to DC with highschoolers from VHS ICU to Lobby in DC
(it was awesome and there’s waaay too much to say in this post)
-Through the course of the trip we had great conversations about life, purpose, the gospel, etc.
-We met hundreds of people who are helping Northern Uganda and we took part in the largest organized lobby for an African country ever in the history of the US!!!!
-I got sick and lost my voice on Monday 2/25
2/27 Wednesday
-flew home and got home around 12:45am on Thursday
2/28-2/29-Thursday/Friday
-was supposed to sub but had NO voice (and had the flu?)
-instead stayed in bed; tried to reply to 100+ emails etc.
2/29-3/2 Friday-Sunday
-went to Kern River on the surprise ‘retreat’ that our worship team threw for Brad’s b-day; we had a great time! That should be it’s own post too.
3/3/08 Today!
-went to the doctor and learned that I have a variation of all the sicknesses that are plaging our nation; I have codine cough syrup for the wretched cough, I have antibiotics for the infection that seems to be running through my body, and I have a follow up appt in 2 weeks for the doc to check on the broken blood vessels in my left ear (which he suspects is from coughing) and he told me to stop talking and rest my voice!
-am in negotiations for a client who is trying to buy a house (trying to do as much on email as possible since i have no voice)
-Mike Butler came over for lunch while I stayed in bed and we watched National Geographic (sumo wrestling and Sri Lanka lizards)
FORECAST FOR THE WEEK
3/4/08 Tuesday
-stay in bed as much as possible and sleep and heal
3/5-3/7 Wed-Friday
-Drive up to SF and attend the funeral of a dear friend’s mom who passed away while I was in DC
-continue to negotiate and wrap up these counters for my buyer
3/8/08-Saturday
-Attend the Irish Fair down in Pomona…several people from my family will be there and some friends! Should be super fun (if i can make it that long!)
3/9/08-Sunday
-Sing with Worship Team at church (I hope my voice is back by then)
-lunch with the Harveys who will be passing through on their way home.
-Collapse!!!!!
3/10/08-Monday
-show houses to a client
DELINQUENT ISSUE
-I know that I still have not posted the winners of the 1st annual ‘Cardies’ awards! EWZ, thank you for the reminder. I want to present the most deserving winners, so it does take time to decide (since everyone did a GREAT job )…and as you can see my current schedule is going to delay it a bit longer
Hope you all have a GREAT week!
MIND GAMES
Do you like puzzles, riddles, or just good old fashioned challenges? If so (even if you don’t) click on the doc below. I started using this with students and it is awesome (and teachers, you might want save it and keep it on file for those ‘uh-oh, what are we going to do today’ lesson plans) …the opening
paragraph states…
“This test will give some gauge of your mental flexibility, creativity, and animal cunning. In the many years since the test was developed, few people have been able to solve more than half of the questions on the first try (although in at least one instance the entire test was completed from memory in less then 13 hours), many people reported answers occurring to them long after the test was set aside, particularly at unexpected times when their minds were relaxed. A relatively small number were able to solve the test in a few days. NO books, NO groups, and NO cheating. Good Luck!”
click it….MIND GAMES DOCUMENT
BLOWIN’..MY..MIND
I just got back from taking a night class at nearby placerita jr high school. It was ‘Algebra Refresher For Parents’. As you may (or may not) know, I am not a parent. I am, however, a substitute teacher and often I am substitue teaching math classes. ‘Substitute TEACHING.’ The phrase indicates that the substitue is a replacement for the regular teacher and is therefore replacing what the regular teacher does: which is TEACH.
Well, standing in an 8th grade Algebra class and bluffing my way through the instruction portion by having the ’smart kid’ be teacher for a day can only last for so long and certainly does not constitute TEACHING (it’s more like a substitute manager…that’s what my title should actually be). So, while real estate is slower and I’ve got a wee bit of time on my hands, here and there, I figured I would better myself and take a refresher course. It was BLOWIN’ my mind! It was so fun and makes me want to retake all of my education from approx 3rd grade to present OVER again. A few summers ago, Ken announced that Kristin and I would be taking ’summer school’ and learning algebra principles with him at home…we laughed and ate more ice cream. Now, fatter and not smarter, I curse myself for not taking advantage of the fount of knowledge that I let slip through my fingers and blow away to Hanford.
Well, today is a new day and as the principal of La Mesa always says,
Q- ‘What type of day is it?’
A-’It’s a GREEEEAT day for learning!’
(side note: the parents that showed up to the refresher course…just a grown up version of the kid classroom. Every kid-type was represented…but as adults…jocks, nerds, cool, divas, flyin’ under the radar, class clown, etc. Fascinating.)
WAR SCHOOL VS. WAR DANCE
This week was filled with lots of subbing. There is a particular group of 8th grade students that I am so discouraged by: by their disrespect, their excess, their lack of morality, but mostly their general lack of fear and gratitude. For the first time in 3 years, I punished the whole class for continued behavior on the part of about 2/3 of the kids. So, going from the shameful reality of the public school system into the theatre to watch War Dance……..well, wow….perspective.
War Dance is a film that documents the story of kids from Northern Uganda who compete for the 1st time in the Ugandan national dance competition. They are the underdogs and favored to lose, but their spirit of perseverence and excellence and their deep kindness and gratitude is a stark and inspiring contrast to the 8th grade class at La Mesa Jr High (and the Ugandan kids were all survivors of child soldiery and/or being orphaned by the LRA crimes).
PLEASE go see this movie…you will be so amazed and moved. I don’t know long it will be in select theatres, so check the theatre list and plan to see it. It’s worth it. I’ve still got thoughts swirling in my mind.
ARE YOU SMARTER THAN AN 8TH GRADER?
This is an actual class conversation today in an 8th grade math class.
Student A: Miss Neylan, what’s your theory on why the Hindenburg exploded?
Me: Well, I don’t really have a theory, but I’m pretty sure scientists speculate it’s because certain gases mixed together that weren’t supposed to. Does anyone else know more about it?
Student B: Supposedly it’s because when hydrogen mixes with (something that I can’t remember) then it explodes. But that theory has been challenged
Me: Hmmm. Who knew? I’m not really up on my Hindenburg trivia.
Student C: Miss Neylan, what’s a Hindenburg?
Me: Does anyone think they can explain it? (lots of hands go up)
Student D: (blah, blah, blah, blah…..attempting to explain it)
Me: Do you know what time frame in history this happened?
Student D: (sweet as can be) uuuum, yah, it was during the black and white times
Me: excuse me? wait. did you just say ‘during the black and white times’? (smirking) ok, hold on. I’m writing that on the board because you just won ‘quote of the day’. You realize that they did live in color back in the 1930s?
Student D: (giggling bashfully) you know what I mean, Miss Neylan…in the black and white times. I think it happened in the 1800s.
PT 3-SUBBING IN ALL ITS GLORY
Soooo, I am debating whether or not to just make a page for some of these Subbing Highlights.
Two weeks ago, I subbed 3 days in High School English classes (AP Juniors and sophmore English) at Valencia High. There are many many things that I’d love to share, but it seems that it’s too much.
Below are excerpts from an assignment that I give entitled ‘10 Things About Myself That Miss Neylan Might Find Interesting…and she doesn’t care about your favorite color’...ANd, I have one called ‘If we could have a conversation or a discussion, here’s what I’d like to talk about’.
I will copy some of them word for word (including spelling) and I will alternate colors per author. Sadly, their progression of thought is some of the best stuff, but it’s waaaay too much to log here….as you read, please note the insight into our youth…So, here goes (see if you can tell the distinction between Read the rest of this entry »
POSTS GALORE
I have several posts brewing in my bulb these days. I hope to get them written soon. Here are some topics, all woven with ponderings of God and His purposes:
-Subbing Highlights: students contributions for ‘Things About My Life That Miss Neylan Might Find Interesting (my favorite color, and similiar things, do not interest her)’; Class discussions/interactions-Hilarious, Spiritual and Otherwise; ‘There Are Such Things As Stupid Questions and Don’t Ask Me Any of Them’; Why Subbing For Special Ed Is Really So Special
-Life Keeps Happening: I ran into the beloved Ashley Murray the other day at Wal-Mart and had an awesome conversation amidst the hair accessories aisle; I spoke with Ryan Kendrick the other night and later he texted me the test results for his mom’s biopsy (you should call him); I got a call from an old college friend, Jason Austin, we talked and laughed and laughed and marveled (he has 5 children!)
-This Weekend: This Saturday the Worship Team has rehearsal; A bunch of us are going to a concert this Saturday night featuring my Uncle Paul Marshall and my Cousin Pete Huttlinger! I think it might be another fun family reunion (family and friends!)…in Culver City!
-Post-Buckweed Fire: Did I do a post about our Worship Team drummer’s house burning down in the fire? Greg & Mary Smith got to experience the ‘it will all burn like wood, hay, and stubble’ promise. Go to their website for more info www.DudeWheresMyHouse.com (I’m not joking…and neither are they, mostly).
-My Life As A Seinfeld Episode: The cat that unprovokedly afronted me while I was leaving one of my listings (that post will include a picture of the disgusting creature)
-Recent Phase: Why I LOVE the show ‘Frasier’ these days
If any of these topics are more interesting than others, let me know.
LAST WEEK
Wow…it was a crazy week for lots of reasons. God is good, Amen.
The highlights:
Monday-I worked for Mary Jo, filling in for kitty-corner lady…I actually took some camera phone pics that I would like to share (maybe that will be it’s own post someday)
Tuesday-Cleaned the house a bit, had ICU club mtg, hung out with Cindi and Judah (always refreshing), had a work night with Holly (and received a FANTASTIC gift…THAT will get it’s very own post!)
Wednesday-worked on Real Estate topics (paperwork, research, pre-viewed properties, etc), dinner with a new Worship Team candidate, WT rehearsal, late night conversations
Thursday-Subbed at VHS and had a 9th grade student escorted out by security after her behavior was at the peak of unacceptable (the Asst Principal had me call the parents too…blah blah blah…parents DISCIPLINE your children when they’re young. If not, you end up with kids like this rights based, blame shifting, anti-authorian fool for a child… I wish some of you could’ve been there…it was like a hidden camera show that went on for about 20 minutes. I actually wish the parents had been behind a 2-way mirror to see how how their child REALLY acts.
Friday-Finished prep work for a weekend of showing homes to an out-of-town client/s. Looked at 7 houses Friday afternoon. Also, received an offer on one of my listings (YAY! PTL!) and presented it to my sellers at night. Fell into bed around 11pm.
Saturday-Showed houses 9am-12, attempted to go to Vanessa Llanos’ wedding in Burbank (I-5 closed due to tunnel/truck fire), got sick in afternoon, rested and did not go to a dinner party at Robinson Ranch that I had RSVP’d yes to…sad. It was going to be fun too!
Sunday-Church (AWESOME! cool fellowship, cool ponderings of Christ and heaven!), showed more properties, prepared counter offer, hung out with Holly (laughed a lot), met with clients at 9:30pm to sign counter, scanned, emailed, computer work, bed..2am?
This week will be a bit slower, but not by much! I do love my life though…I’d rather die busy than bored!
At the same time, I don’t want to waste my life. . . Though slow does not always mean ‘wasting’ and busy does not always mean ‘worthy’. The proper use of time changes from moment to moment for me!
I’M WORKING ON A POST
I don’t have time to finish at the moment…cuz of this week’s schedule:
1) Monday-Subbed at VHS for Jennene; Had CORE mtg; had a GREAT evening with Emily (Mason) & Dave
2) Tuesday-Subbed at La mesa in the severely handicapped class (a very intense opportunity); grocery shopping
3) Wednesday-Subbed at la Mesa in the severely handicapped class (stay tuned for a post dedicated to that experience); Worship Team practice
4) Thursday (today)-Working at Mary Jo’s place (filling in for cat lady); coaching with GM at CBV
5) Friday-Subbing at Placerita for 8th grade math
6) Saturday-COC All Church Work day; showing properties
7) Sunday-Worship team and more….
Soooooooooo, the post i want to write is about my time, observations, and gratitude from my experience subbing with the severely handicapped students. Not sure when that will be…good thing I wrote down my thoughts throughout my 2 days there.
PT 3-SUBBING IN ALL IT’S GLORY
My 2 favorite moments of recent subbing in 8th grade:
#1-The Scene
I gave them a post-test assignment (while they were waiting for their classmates to finish the test). It was to list 5 things that I might find interesting about them. My favorite comes from a girl who is VERY interesting. Very ‘academic’, very intense, slightly disconnected, and angry that I made her write a paragraph cuz of talking w/o permission. She gave me the cold sholder after the paragraph punishment. Her ‘5 Things’ paper was neatly listed 1-5, every point was in a different color (I will try to re-create), and her 5 points are:
1. I am very good at archery. I study bow and arrow type archery. I want to get into the Olympics.
2. I am pretty good at singing. I am a soprano and I am in chorus.
3. My all-time favorite movie is Jaws even though im afriad of sharks. I enjoy going to the beach and swimming in WAY over my head water
4. I read at least 1 book a day. I enjoy reading romances
5. I collect charms and right now I have over 500 charms
#2-The Scene
During the Q & A that I always let them have, one tiny little guy asked me…
LG: do you have any hidden talents?
Me: Yes. Do you?
LG: (non-chalantly) yes
Me: Really. What is it?
LG: I can scream at decibal pitch of 116
Me: (fighting back laughing) Really? I’d like to hear that. Would you be willing to do that for the whole class?
LG: (non-chalantly and touching his throat) Well, I’ve been sick and I’m not sure if I can get ny normal pitch.
Me: Well, would you be willing to try? I mean if it’s going to hurt your throat I don’t want you to, but if you can get even close to that pitch I’d really be interested in seeing…I mean hearing that.
(while he ponders, I ask the class if they’d like him to demonstrate his hidden talent. They yell ‘yes’)
LG: Ok, I’ll do it
(at my request, he walks to the front of the class, I walk to the back)
Me: Should we plug our ears or…
LG: (non-chalantly) I’d recommend it
Me: (fighting back laughing) Ok, class, you might want to plug your ears
Then this tiny little human (no more than 85lbs soaking wet), standing there as if bored out of his mind, all of the sudden hunched over, opened his mouth, and let out the most amazing and shocking scream…the pitch…well, let’s just say that my right ear was still ringing after we cheered, after they all calmed down and after I resumed class. I think that’s been one of my top 10 favorite Jr High sub moments.
PT 2-SUBBING & ALL IT’S GLORY
So, as promised, here are some excerpts from this assignment ‘Based on what I know so far about Miss Neylan, here are 5 things about me that she might find interesting’. These excerpts are verbatim quotes from several 8th grade classes at La MEsa Jr High. I will list my 2 favorites in another post. As you read these, consider who/what has shaped these young world views. Sometimes it’s refreshing, sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s really disheartening.
-I don’t care what anyone thinks of me
-I hate when people walk slow in front of me
-I have been dancing for 8 years
-My name is spelled weird (I think)
-I have a scar on my stomach
-I can land a nightmare flip
-I don’t believe in God
-I have 7 piercings
-The things I find most funny are usually very random
-My favorite movie is Monty Python & the Holy Grail
-I am a Christian and am being raised in a Christian family
-I can’t burp…AMAZINGLY!
-I’m lactose intolerant & my last name is Mielke (pronounced) ‘Milky’
-I get the guilty feeling very easily
-scared of monkeys
-I’ve been in a movie where I get in a car accident and blow up (the car)
-I always look at the clock at 10:21 at night everynight w/o knowing it because that’s the time I was born
-I want to be a marine archeologist; I would like to help the sea animals
-I can be on the computer for 4 hours straight (or longer, if I am not bothered)
-My mom has cancer
-The computer and my friends are my life
-I’m a trouble maker
-I drink soup with a straw
-I’ve met Fabio (haha)
-I like the show Scrubs
-I play guitar, I have ADHD, I play football, I talk alot, and I skateboard
-I hate when other people crack anything on their body. I hate the noise even though I do it
-I like CHICANO RAP
-I like monkeys
-I’ve used rifles, pistols, and shotguns, and sub-machine gun
-I can do the splits
-I have 8 brothers and sisters
-Can laugh an evil laugh
-Have broken 5 bones already
PT 1-SUBBING AND ALL IT’S GLORY
So, i subbed on Thursday (full day) and on Friday (a half day). I have a few goodies to share with you. However, I need to sleep. Last night was the first night that I slept for more than 3 hours at a time in over 2.5 months. It was amazing. So, I am going to bed right now, but I will post my little Life Gems soon. I hope you love them as much as I do. To whet your appetite…I gave them the assignment, ‘Based on what you know about me so far, make a list of 5 things that you think I would find interesting about YOU.’ Some good quotes coming your way, bloggies!
AND, 2 kids tied for the best ‘last question’ of the hour. They were 1) What is a topic that you could talk about forever? 2) What was the most important thing that happened in your life? Thankfully, the answer was the same for both questions…and since they tied, I answered both of their questions. I told them that the answer to #2 was when I became a Christian and the answer to #1 was why I was so thankful…and I shared the gospel, as it related to saving me. They were trying to think up good questions that would waste time, but we all know how that goes…
CODE WORDS ‘AT ALL’
So, many of you know by now that I love subbing. I love it because it’s constantly hilarious or enraging or perplexing or just plain culturally educational. My normal schtick is as follows
1. Intro Myself
2. Lay out my guidelines/expectations and explain the ‘consequences’ aka. the smack down
3. Ask them if there are any questions about anything we’ve discussed so far.
4. Ask if there are any questions about anything AT ALL…pause…this is when most of them are too terrified to speak. And then usually one brave soul asks a non-academic question and cracks the code!
Anytime I ask the question, ‘Are there any questions about anything AT ALL?’, it’s code for ‘We can talk about whatever you want’ and THAT’S code for ‘Here’s a way to kill time before I make you work for the whole period’. Once someone cracks the code, the fun usually really begins…AND, they’re usually more productive when it comes time to work (Bonus).
On Tuesday, I subbed at Valencia High School for a teacher who covers English and Video Production. In almost all the classes we had engaging and livley discussion (and did the classwork). The topics ranged from marriage, world travels, God/religion, eating meat, homosexuality, political/minority presidential candidates, what 5 things I’d like to do before I die, the meaning of life, judging others, movies (after all, we were in video production)…and more…
PS-As a sidenote: if you’re a parent of a girl…you MUST regulate what she’s wearing out of the house! The mainstream fashion trends that are popular right now look like hooker-wear. PLEASE care for your kids (ex. your sons minds/hearts and your daughter’s dignity/safety). At VHS, amongst many unacceptable styles, I saw a sea of girls wearing shorts that were soooo short they looked like the popular ‘boy underwear’. It’s getting really really bad. PLEASE …for everyone’s overall dignity and purity look at your kid in their clothes the way an unsaved (or even saved) person would…with self gratifying eyes… and then send them back into their room until they wear clothes that don’t look like they’re turning tricks in between classes!
MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
7th grade science at La Mesa Jr High…all those terrified little 7th graders on their 6th day of Junior High. Man, I have missed them!
There was definitely some variety to the 6 different periods, but all in all a pretty predicatable crowd. Of course we had some class discussion and here are some highlights:
Q-Who is totally freaked out about being in junior high?
A-Usually 2 or 3 kids would raise their hands. I commended them for being truthful and accused the majority of the rest of the class of being untruthful…about 60% percent of the rest of the hands would go up.
Q-What has been better than you thought, now that you’re here?
A-The food. There aren’t any bullies. I haven’t been jumped by the 8th graders. The classes seem shorter. The homework isn’t hard.
Q-What has been worse than you expected?
A-Having to wear sleeves (especially when it’s hot). The lunch line is so long. The 8th graders call us scrubs and won’t let us in the quad area. Overwhelmed by all the classes and the different teacher’s requirements. Too many people on campus-can’t find their friends.
Their priorities are ridiculous, but that’s an American 7th grader for you.
Here’s the cool and ironic moment…one of my students has been in the States for 2 years and is originally from Uganda! That accent is unmistakable! I asked him to come in at lunch (if he wasn’t busy) so that I could talk to him and ask questions etc. He came in happily and I spent lunch listening to his story and how his mom has been here 7 years earning money to send back to Uganda to put them through school etc. His perspective on the 7th grade experience and life in America was vastly different from the other kids. He was so sweet and kind and aware.
I ended up giving him a copy of Invisible Children to give to his mom…he said that she’s always looking for ways to support Uganda. I’m hoping to build a relationship with this family and invite them to ICU stuff and to COC stuff. There’s more, but I need to get going.
You never know what you’ll encounter when you go to school!
THAT’S WHAT WE CALL ‘CHEATING’
Setting: La Mesa Public Jr High, 7th Grade Science, the entire class is supposed to be writing down the agenda from the board. I look over and Kyle (a charming bully, who uses a confused look to attempt to disarm teachers), who is sitting 3 inches away from Lizzie, is copying Lizzie’s history vocabulary homework…word for word.
Me: “Hand me both papers please.” (saying nothing more, I walk away and put the papers in a stack on my desk)
-Kyle is staring at me for about 2 minutes (an intimidation tactic on the 7th grader’s part). I act like I Read the rest of this entry »
DEDICATED TO AMY. YAP.
So, last week, I subbed for 2 days in Ken’s high school Algebra & Geometry classes at West Ranch. Since this was a new semester, we had to go through the usual ‘introduction and here’s how it’s gonna go’ speech, after which I let them ask me anything they want to. It warms them up to me, kills some time (from their perspective) and generally speaking, they usually end up asking questions that lead me to sharing the gospel…it’s legal if I am answering questions that they asked.
So, last week, I had some return students who already knew the ‘ask me anything you want’ routine. Someone asked about my world travels and away we went. So, a kid that I like and find to be a free thinking and thought provoking chap, we’ll call him Sir W (who also loves The Office), followed up by Read the rest of this entry »
REMIND ME (IF U WANT)
I have 2 stories to post when I have time, which is not now. One happened last week when I was subbing for Ken, it involves a country I’d never heard of, and one happened a few nights ago at Video Depot and was much akin to a Seinfeld episode…once again, no one was there to share in it with me…such a shame.
Remind me to post them. I think they’re a worth it read. I must away…I’m subbing at La Mesa today for my favorite hooligans and then after school I have a termite inspection and a home inspection to attend!
GOING BACK HOME
Well, tomorrow is Friday and it is the last day of a very long and mentally draining work week. I will teach at La Mesa all day on Friday and then drive up north for the funeral which is scheduled to be in Sacramento.
I’m looking forward to teaching tomorrow because this is the tough class…the ones that we spend most of our time working on manners than anything else. Though they suck the life out of me due to thier constant defiance, I really do enjoy them and the moments of breakthrough that we usually have. I pray that I am a testimony to them…testimony of what…hopefully Christ.
Aaaand, I hope the same thing for time with family. This is going to be a very layered weekend/funeral. Feel free to continue praying for the whole scene. I want to be spiritually available at every moment for every opportunity that the LORD brings.
Man, I can not wait to be in heaven with Christ!!!
“YOU’RE AN ACTION VERB”
Ok, sure, there are lots of deep and meaningful thoughts about which that I’d love to blog. But, right now, I share with you another jewel from Jr High Subbing -Courtesy of Rio Norte 7th Grade English class!
Ok, so the class lesson was on ‘Action Verbs’. After multiple attempts to identify the part of speech during the class discussion, Girl A was drowning. Unsolictied, Boy B, with some ‘duh’ to his tone, whispered ‘it’s an ACTION verb’. Girl A replied with a muttered yet clearly irritated, ‘YOU’RE an action verb’. Astounded at the hilarity, well, mostly at the maturity of said retort, I calmly asked Girl A, ‘Did you just call him an action verb?’. With fear of discipline in her hunched shoulders and wide eyed reply, she sheepishly said, ‘Yes’, clearly fearing the assumed inevitable teacherly recourse. Instead, I laughed and said, ‘Ok. Now THAT was funny.’
We all laughed…except for Boy B. The best part of it all is that, unbeknowst to the students, my friends and I actually joke like that with each other…replicating a junior high mentality. It’s just delightful when I get to see our humor’s origin up close and personal. YOU’RE an action verb.
TO BE A JUNIOR HIGH GIRL
The following is a verbatim note that I confiscated from a 7th grade girl while the whole class was supposed to be reading a paragrpah on the board. Note: already you see the red flag…she’s writing, the whole class reading on board…inconspicuous? No.
“Chocolate chips,
hi mine arms hurts so much. ugh its so much pain. Ya heather made a group we have curve a heart on our hands to be in the group” note confiscated.
Translation:
Dear Chocolate Chips
Hi. My arms hurt so much, ugh, it’s so much pain. Ya, Heather created a group and we have to carve a heart on our hand for membership.”
She actually came up to me after class and asked for her note back. ????
Go carve a heart on your hand, kid. And, say hi to chocolate chips for me while you’re out there!
LAST WEEK: STUDENTS, BLACK BOX, CELTIC LIFE, ICU, etc
If I had a personal assistant this blog would be updated far more. Since I don’t, here’s a sloppy montage of the last 2 week’s highlights (give or take), once again, verifying that I really do have a great life, full of diversity and exposure.
OK, high lights…
Read the rest of this entry »
