I’LL HAVE A BLOODY MARY, A STEAK SANDWICH AAAND A STEAK SANDWICH
Easier than writing lots of individual emailsArchive for July, 2008
HIGHLIGHTS
1. It’s SHARK WEEK!!! I deleted half my DVR list to make room for the shows that will stay on my list for the next 6 months…and will be watched over and over. So far, all the attack shows have commented on surfers & swimmers…no divers. Only surface activities. So, everyone who keeps telling me that diving is so dangerous cuz of shark attacks…swim off!
2. A new website I recently learned about www.Sellout.woot.com . They have one new product per day. It last for 24 hous or until it sells out. The prices are ridiculous.
3. The Harveys will be here in a few hours!
4. The TATLOCK’S home is in escrow, taking back up offers. God is good! 
5 days on the market!
5. I recently saw an episode of the Office that I somehow missed, titled ’Did I Stutter’…where Stanley mouths off to Michael and then Michael ‘Fake Fires’ Stanley. I laughed out loud when Michael asked Darrell about how gang members deal with conflict and Darrell told him about ‘Fluffy Fingers’…when gang members tickle each other and before you know it they’re laughing and going out to ice cream with each other.
SUBCULTURES PT 1
Sooo, I’ve wanted to write about this since it happened last week. This will be a 2-parter post (TPP)…cuz one event led to an observation that resulted in an ongoing conversation…that I’d like to invite you into.
Soooo, we all know that my life is a Seinfeld episode. And, I guess, i would not want it any other way…or else my blog would be pretty useless.
OK, Jennene and I have been trying to play racquetball lately. We’ve been ‘trying’, whilst Eric has actually been playing when he plays with us. He’s got lots of patience. ANYway, I saw signs at the gym for ‘Free Raquetball Demo 6-8pm’. What better way to imporve our atrocious attempts at hitting that tiny blue ball against walls than to attend a workshop? Free too! I figured there’d be about 5 or 6 gym members being instructed by some 49 year old guy, complete with head and wrist bands, who has been playing for 10+ years and thinks he’s the ‘it’ to racquetball. I also pictured a guy with a white tank top, hairy chest and probably driving an ‘84 corvette. Stay tuned….
We show up to a crowd of about 40-50 HARD CORE racquetball players (the racquetball bags, gloves, outfits, goggles, the egos…the whole nine yards). Instantly, I internally squeal with glee as I know we are stepping into a deep subculture! Now, my dad played rball while I was growing up…he was the guy who beat everybody…in fact, he was the guy I previously described, minus the white tank and hairy chest. My dad was REALLY REALLY good. So, I was flashing back to the racquetball subculture immersion of my youth. Flash forward to Jennene and I standing there looking at each other and knowing that we are so far out of our league it’s like a Seinfled episode waiting to unfold!
Through some stealthy navigating through all the testoserone, gear, hype, I gather vital information about our ‘demo-speaker’ who is about 20 minutes late. Our demo-speaker is ranked number one in indoor AND outdoor racquetball…ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the honorable, 29 year old, ROCKY CARSON . He talked to the throngs, answered questions, started playing down the list of EIGHTEEN people that signed up to ‘Play with the Pro’ (they asked us if we wanted to sign up-we laughed and passed the clipboard to the next guy, who was the world champion in age 70+ division in racquetball…and slalom skiing, water skiing, etc). It was bizarre to watch grown men drool over this kid. It was worse than how guys act when a hot girl walks in the room. It was like a worship service,with Rocky on the altar. Rocky really was an UNBELIEVABLE player/athlete…and he was really genuienly a nice guy. In fact, I kind of wondered if he was a Christian due his humility, his countenance and the way he treated people, etc.
While there are about 42 other things that made the fact that Jennene and I attended this workshop completely hilarious, I will move on to my PART 2 intro… it was CLEARLY a subculture. And, I thrive on being exposed to sub cultures!
J&E& I went home and started talking about sub-cultures over dinner….we brainstormed about all the subcultures we are in, have been in, were exposed to via growing up, etc… the list was immense….
Because it’s a fascinating ‘data gathering’ topic with friends and family, I brought up the same discussion with Paul and Becka when I was at their place in the OC (which is it’s own subculture, as well). We had a lot of laughs and ‘oh yeah!’s PART 2 will be a list of subcultures…I want to hear your contributions too!
FLEETING VAPOR?
So, I try really hard to see things in light of eternity. in general, in the scope of eternity, my life does fly by…35 years just flew by! I am not always succesful with an eternal perspective, but it makes sense that my life and its’ happenings are just a blip on the radar. HOWEVER, there are some manadtory mundane tasks that make me feel like I’m in earthly slow motion…and that it’s never going to end.
Can you relate to these tasks? the kind that seem like they must be started over within minutes/hours/days after their completion?
-filling up my car with gas. That started getting old about 2 months after I got my license (17 years ago)
-Shaving my legs, armpits, etc. That started getting old about 6 months after I started (23 years ago ?)
-Going to the bathroom. That started getting old…about 35 years ago…. at least I’m not doing it in my pants anymore…though I will be in about 40 more years.
-Grocery Shopping/Eating in general …while there are some shining moments…in general it started getting old about 25 years ago…the parking, the carts, the price comparision shopping, having to actually prepaRe food (the time, the measuring, the dishes, the speed in which it gets consumed)
-Basic housecleaning (though I’m horrible about cleaning maintenance…I’m one of those who likes to cram housecleaning for when a visitor is coming). So, that got old about 20 years ago.
-Showering. Though I can NOT stand to be dirty, just thinking about the daily drama of pre-mid and post showering, mentally fatigues me. It got old about 25 years ago.
-Paying my Mortgage and HOA fees….and all bills, I guess.
-Getting my hair colored/cut. The constant need for this task…the decisions of WHAT color, WHICH cut, am I really paying $130 for that which I am going to have to pay for again in about 2 months? Yeah, that got old about 20 years ago.
These are the general tasks that make me feel like I’m a rat on a treadmill and I will never die. But, I do know that this life really is a fleeting vapor and soon I will be with Jesus in eternity… I hope that when I meet him I have a full tank of gas, am not doing the pee-pee dance, have just eaten, am well groomed, and have paid all my bills so creditors aren’t calling my relatives after I’m in the grave (or rather in heaven).
Come quickly LORD (or take me quickly, LORD)
ONE POST OR ONE FOR EACH?
Soooooooooooooo, I have been jotting down some post ideas that I wanted to eventually share. The problem is that i can’t decide if I want to do bullet point topics or if I want to expound on some of them.
Can I get some votes? bullet points or short posts-topics specific
GUESS WHAT I GOT IN THE MAIL TODAY…
I am a card carrying ‘PADI CERTIFIED OPEN WATER DIVER’!!!!
Check out the chart below (can you find my classification?)….there are many more levels I can pursue…maybe Cavern Diver will be next? Or mostly NOT. While I love diving, I do not love being in enclosed spaces, underwater, with my main lifeline in a tank on my back. I’m pretty sure guys like Reuben should be Cavern Diving (our instructor…his name is on my card if you want to get certified).
As for me, I’m stickin with Open Water at this point!!! Yay! I have my cert card!!! I’m totally gonna start flashing it, like a CSI badge.
TATLOCK’S HOME IS LOOKING FOR A QUALIFIED BUYER!
Soooooo, you heard it here first, the Tatlocks have listed their home for sale, with me.
They love their current house, but they are walking through some open doors for a specific house that might be a GREAT move for them (space, investment, hospitality, etc). Like the Tats, I know many of you have lots of memories in this house (parties: SLS, RAs, RDs, WOW, Chapel Media, Bible Study, Women’s groups, etc)!
So, HERE’S THE VIRTUAL TOUR. Check it out (stroll down memory lane) and if you or anyone you know may want to buy it, let me know or send them my way. AND, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me! Here are a few details: 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 2,241 sq ft, VIEWS, $434,000.
this is a GREAT price for a turnkey home in Valencia in this sq footage!
IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE TODAY…VIEW THIS
This is BY FAR the BEST thing I’ve seen in a long time. CLICK HERE to read/watch it. Give yourself enough time to read/watch it all (maaaybe 4 minutes total). Horrifying, ridiculous, vexing…terribly vexing.
Some days it’s just embarrasing to be part of the Western human race.
MANY props to Lisa Martin for taking the time and making the effort…you’ve altered my day!
PRICE REDUCTION ON PARMA CT IN THE SUMMIT!!!!
So, the listing that I have on Parma Ct (up in the Valencia Summit)…it’s now $560,000 as of this moment! A sensational deal!!
Click HERE for the virtual tour and photos etc.
This is a very sought after community in Valencia. If you or someone you know is a buyer ready to make a GREAT investment, please have them contact me! Smart time to buy!
IF I MUST
I had been meaning to post this for a few weeks, but just kept forgetting.
It’s funny how long I sat here and scoured my mind for answers…the titles of each category are misleading…as if the answers (called ‘Top 5 favorites’) are critical to my daily life. They’re not…Most of these answers are either painfully extracted from my brain or painfully suppressed (because I have 5 more songs/movies/moments that changed my life/places I want to travel, etc)
I hate doing these surveys…I rarely read other peoples…but since I did read Eric’s and did read Siona’s and they both ‘tagged’ me (cuz we’re cyber-children), I caved…
SO, HERE’S TO THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP…I GIVE YOU MY ‘TOP 5’ LIST
Things under $5 that I couldn’t live without (yes, I could)
Dental Floss, Diet Cherry Pepsi, razor, cotton facial pads (NOT cotton balls), yellow legal pads
Favorite movies (don’t be fooled, there are lots of others)
Jaws, Fletch, Band of Brothers, Royal Tennenbaums, Silence of the Lambs, Once…
Baby names I love (I really only have ever thought of Hannah, but don’t necessarily want a girl…I just love her character and nobility in the Bible. The rest were a stretch)
Hannah, Quincy, Max, Tabitha (for obvious reasons),
Songs I could listen to over and over again (5+)
With or Without You by U2, How Deep the Father’s Love, God Is Good, Desperado by the Eagles, Knocks Me Off My Feet by Stevie Wonder, Faithfully by Journey, Fantine’s Dream (Les Mes) and anything Wicked Tinkers!…
People who have influenced me in a positive way (waaaaaaaaaaaay too many to count, but…) Pattycake, Brad Brock, Doug Bookman, Jai Anderson, Scott Burns/Vinson, Kristjan, Andrea Kolstad, Katherine….so so so many people…
Things that are always in my purse
Smart Phone/case (with CCs, ID, etc), Business Cards, Title Insurance Rate Booklet, My camera (new edition), Garage Door Opener
Moments that changed my life forever
A particular moment, one night, during my parents divorce. A particular scene in Dances With Wolves, 7/4/91 Fireworks in Boston, getting paired with some girl named Jennene to do ‘special music’, being attacked in downtown SF, Dewey Bertollini at Hume Lake talking about knowing God’s word and Israel, a conversation with Jeremy about gossip in ‘95, reading Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 for the 1st time (as HW for a Bookman class), learning about my dad’s wedding 6 months afterwards, my 1st certified dive…
Places I would like to go
Anywhere at any time…New Zealand, Uganda, Yap, South America, Cuba…
Appliances or kitchen tools I couldn’t live without (yes, I could)
Microwave? Paper towels? Spoons?
People who I would like to see their top 5’s (I don’t want to burden anyone with this, but for the sake of the game…)
Jennene Margrave, Kristin Harvey, Trevor Seelye, Christina Leaman, Greg Smith, Obama, Todd Bolen, King Herod, (Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out), yours (?)
OH RICKY, YOU’RE SO FINE, YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND, HEY RICKY
As some of you know, I care for Ricky Gervais and his comedy (most of it) a great deal. So do Rob & Sarah. Ricky had only 2 tour locations: LA & NY. Rob’s keen eye allowed us to book tickets last March, when we began planning our ‘Ricky Gervais’ day. It was well executed yesterday. Highlights
LEADING UP TO
-arrived at Ikegami’s (in Hollywood) approx 11:30am; hung out; ate from a delicious spread prepared by Sarah (thanx); rec’d my first Dive Review Book (thanx again Sarah), ‘Divers Speak Out’; prepared ourselves for the second season EXTRAS marathon
-Took a marathon break and went for a free slurpee run at 7/11 (since it was 7/11). Came back and finished the last few episodes of EXTRAS..we laughed alot…RIcky, Steve Merchant, ‘Maggie’, guest stars…ALL genuis!
-ran into AJ Tigner & his wife as we were walking to dinner (and then to the Kodak theatre). I hadn’t seen them in 6 (?) years
-Chinese food for dinner…tried cream cheese wontons…whoa…who thought of that?
-2nd Mezzanine seating for the show (not bad)
-opening act so-so
-Ricky….
RICKY
-His entrance (WWF style), complete with cape, crown, HUGE lit letters saying ‘RICKY’, was hilarious! and very ‘Spinal Tap’ style…like an omage to the stonehenge bit (?)
-60% of his comedy was pure genuis and totally repeatable. The other 40% left me cringing inside…and pondering a 1,000 ‘by product’ thoughts. The hilarious themes: his charity work, autisism, obescity is not a disease, morals of children’s stories (humpty Dumpty, the industrious mouse and the lazy mouse, etc), the history channel/the discovery channel, sharks and Nazi’s, animals…
-His subtle hand motions, eye movements, tone of voice…SO much genuis.
-His ‘dialogue’ with other characters …hilarious (ex. Niche & Hitler!)
POST SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
-As we were hanging out in the lobby we noticed the stairs down to the first floor was roped off. As we looked down at what appeared to be a crowd chatting and mingling outside a VIP room, Rob began recognizing the people. It was like watching animals at the zoo: matthew perry, jason bateman (!), Harry shearer (!), Brett & Jermaine from flight of the conchords, Kathy Griffin… weird and cool. No cameras, no crowds, just them off in the distance laughing, talking, pushing each other into the bushes.
As we debriefed the night on our walk home and back at the Ikegami’s place, we noted the good and the bad. It was a GREAT day…it’s cool when a plan comes together!
If you don’t know who Ricky Gervai is…shame on you.
He’s the creator of the British show called ‘the Office’, after which the U.S. version was fashioned. He went on to create another series called EXTRAS. Reserved only for true comedy afficianados.
CATCH UP!
Here are some bullet point highlights
1. To date, 3 black widows dead (2 adults and one juvenile), 1 BW intensely wounded and probably dead in a hole somewhere just outside my garage door.
2. Went to Morro Bay for a few days. The Harvs rented a beach house and we had a GREAT time relaxing, laughing, talking, going to the beach, going to the Klondike, just chilling out…in 50-70 degree ‘heat’ whilst everyone else in CA was melting. Praise the LORD!
3. 1st roomate dropped off her first load of belongings!!!…then proceeded to lock the house up with locks we don’t use…so, I had to call a locksmith to meet me at the house upon my return from Morro Bay
4. Had lunch with my title rep and her asst. It was alot of fun!
5. Bought and used the PedEgg…whoa…I totally recommend it!!!! FOLLOW the directions, after you scrub slather lotion on your feet and then sleep with socks on…your feet will never be the same!
6. The Ikegamis and I are going to see Ricky Gervais at the Kodak on Friday night!
7. Reconnected with a friend from junior high, on Facebook!
LIKE YOU’RE ON VACATION…SUMMIT HOME TOUR… $575,000
For all the pics and tours… CLICK HERE …
I’ve had a couple comments of feedback, but would love more.
If you or anyone you know would be interested in purchasing this home…call or write!
WEIRDY MCWEIRDERSON
BACKGROUND INFO
I have a friend who lives in New Zealand. We talk on the phone approx once every 1-2 months. The system usually goes as follows: He will text me and see if I can take a call and when I say ‘yes’, my phone rings about 2 minutes later with a ‘Blocked Number’ ID. He usually texts/calls sometime after 10pm due to the time change.
Sooo, this morning around 9am, I got a call from a ‘Blocked Number’ and when I answered it sounded like the guy on the other end was far away and had an accent. It kind of sounded like how it does when my convo starts with my NZ friend. I was stoked but perplexed cuz he is usually sleeping during that time frame and he usually texts before he calls. Then I thought, ‘maybe it’s an emergency’…
Here’s how the call went…
Sam- This is Sam
Caller-Hi (faint…sounding far away)
S-Hello?
C-Hi
S-(thinking it’s my NZ friend), Hey! How’s it going?
C-ok, how’s it going for you (now, I do not hear an accent)
S-fine. who is this?
C-(very chipper sounding) I know this sounds weird, but I was feeling low and randomly dialed a number
S-hmmm, what’s your name?
C-Mike. I just wanted to talk and so I randomly dialed
S-hmmm, I don’t believe you. Who is this?
C-Mike
S-What’s your last name Mike
C-Matthews. I know it sounds weird and random, but…
S-Yeah, (chuckling), I just don’t believe you. is this a joke?
C-No. I just wanted to talk
S-huh. who is this really?
C-(what I thought he said was…) Do you really want to know?
S- (to which I said ) Yes
C-sorry (hung up)
Upon reflection, I think he said ‘Do you want me to let you go?’
It made me feel weird. Do these things happen to you? Or is it really JUST me?
