It seems that many of you readers enjoy the stories that I live through my substitute teaching experiences.  I agree, it’s good stuff.  So, here are some highlights/lowlights from my last 3 days subbing for the Spring ‘08 semester.  Spoiler Alert: some graphic moments

THE SCENE: 7th grade science classes at La Mesa Junior High; the last week of school

1.  I generally don’t look , in advance, at the worksheets that the teacher gives me to handout…in this class, she’s a good teacher and they usually know what to do with the information…so, I learned the hard way that the worksheet topics this time were ‘HIV transmission’….journey with me…
the class is quietly working on their own, I am at the desk reading real estate materials and I get the following questions (and my replies and/or the classmate replies)
Q (nerdy male student)-asked sincerely, ‘Miss Neylan, what’s anal penetration?’
A (me)- furrowed brow, trying to quickly and subtley figure out why I’d be asked this question…as I realize it’s a worksheet question, ’seriously?’
Q-’yeah, what is that?, I’ve never heard of it’ (as the other students are snickering, rolling their eyes, and waiting for me to answer)
A-I tilt my head and regrettably say ‘it’s from behind’, my internal monologue begins the diatribe as to why the state should not be involved in sex ed
Q-’From behind? what do you mean?’
A-neighbor girl student irritatedly says ‘dude, it’s in the butt’…the asker looks astonished and gets that shamed look on his face and giggles
Q-my inner monologue continues with the backwardsness of state ‘education’ and how this little 7th grade boy was just forced into a realm of life that he was clearly not ready for…where are parents? etc etc etc

2.  Again, everyone working quietly
Q-(7th grade girl, dressed like a scank with the body of a 22yr old hottie on MTV), asked in a genuienly confused manner, ‘Miss Neylan, it says that one way to avoid getting HIV is abstinence from sex until you’re married…and then only having sex with your spouse.  What does marriage have to do with anything?  Why are they talking about marriage when they talk about HIV…what do they have to do with each other?’
A-(me) ‘Well, in a perfect world if everyone waited to have sex with just their spouse, very few people would actually have HIV..obviously there are other ways of getting it, but it would be dramatically lower if people only had sex with their spouse..only… ever…’
Q-’but what if you have HIV before you’re married?’
A-’well, again, in a perfect world, you wouldn’t have it before you’re married because no one would be having sex except with their spouse..so they could not have gotten it..well, besides in a transfusion or a needle.’
Q-(genuinely confused and thinking it’s absurd), ‘I just don’t see what marriage has to do with any of it, why does it matter if you’re married? 
A-someone else chimed in and she just rolled her eyes and didn’t buy that you should have sex only with the person you’re married to

I also took the opportunity to tell them how powerful the spread of HIV has been (on the heels of having sex with whomever you want)…when I was in 7th grade it was drug education and HIV was RARELY even mentioned because it wasn’t really a problem..so, in just 20ish years HIV has become pandemic…hmmmm, I wonder if it has something to do with the choices most people are making.

3.  Again, everyone working quietly
Q-(asked by a mouthy rat male boy), ‘Miss Neylan, why did they name it semen?’  (he snickers)
A-matter of factly, like I talk about semen everyday, ‘mmmm, I have no idea.  Why don’t you look it up? MIght want to refer to the ancient greeks or italians’
Q-’oh.  well, it sounds like someone who works on a boat’
A-(knowing he’s just showing off), ‘Oh yeaaaah, same sounding word, spelled differently, S-E-A-M-A-N
Q-nodding in understanding, ‘oh’ (clearly discouraged he didn’t get a rise out of me)

4.  Last year, I taught an SAT prep class last year after school.  The kids were great, hard working, and many of them passed the SAT’s on their first try (with high scores for a 7th grader).  One of the girls came in to my classroom on Tuesday and asked me to sign her year book.  Awwwwww.  While she’s the size of the traveling gnome, she speaks to me like she’s 43 years old.  She’s unique in the sea of average 7th & 8th graders at La Mesa.  She wished me a great summer, asked what I was doing, thanked me for teaching her SAT class and science classes, and left with her little yearbook.  I’m pretty sure she’s going to discover the cure for cancer or HIV or something on par.

5.  Alex has trouble doing his work, being respectful, not mouthing off, etc.  Alex has this problem EVERY time I teach this class..so for a year I have experienced this behavior.  On Tuesday, Alex earned 6 paragraphs due to his incessant disrespect etc. (he started with one, then he mouthed off and earned another then he refused to do them and therefore earned a total of 6).   He refused to answer my questions about why he was making these choices etc.  I gave him a mini-lecture about righting wrongs, offered him the opportunity to apologize (he refused) etc.  He refused so vehemently that I offered to wipe out the 6 paragraphs if he would simply apologize for what he had done (and had always done).  He refused on a level that was astounding.  I gave him 4 different opportunities to stop writing and just apologize.  Nope.  He didn’t finish the 6 paragraphs so he earned lunch detention, wherein he was supposed to finish the parapgraphs.  Next day, he didn’t have his paragraphs and had to do them in class…still refusing to apologize. 
I thought to myself, that this is how I must look to God.  He wants the best for me, I do something that is bad for me AND deserves punishment, He offers me a free and gracious way out if I would simply humbly confess it, I refuse and make it worse…huh. 
Anyway, if soemthing doesn’t change, Alex has a real rough road ahead of him in life (and so do all the authorities that are in his future).  He’s also little in stature, so I’m hoping that he gets his butt whooped by some bullies soon.  Sometimes that helps kids like him.  Sometimes. 
Kind of like how some of us have to get knocked around by life/our choices before we yield to God’s best.

6.  A nice enough kid, trying to be cool by wearing long saggy pants with the crotch at his knees (but can’t pull off the gang banger attitude that goes with it)…I watch him as he walks across the room after sharpening his pencil and I chuckle to myself about his efforts to be cool… but dude, saggy pants are not cool when they’re denim white. I kid you not.  His ghetto-gang banger pants were white denim.  It was like West Side Story, but not.  Awwww, he’s sweet for tyring.

Well, that’s it for Spring 2008.  I assume the sub stories will resume again in September.