So, tonight I recieved the email that had the 167 page attachment…the transcript from the parole hearing this summer.  When I first got it (around 9pm) I opened it, glanced at it and clicked it closed…thinking that I needed to be in a different frame of mind for that read. 

A few hours later, I was laying in bed WIDE awake thinking about a zillion things: a San Diego bound friend, the real estate market, God’s sovereignty, the Office premiere, prayer and the Psalmists, some missionaries I know, the ocean, New Zealand, the summer, at one point crying…the usual.  I wished I could fall asleep.  When I acknowledged that sleep was far away, I got up and opened the parole hearing transcripts.  The intro email from the DA said it would be hard to read because it would bring it all right back into focus, as if it had been yesterday.  As I embarked on the 167 page confidential document, I instantly saw his truth.  I felt like I was back in that hot tiny room looking at Ms. Nathan’s shackled profile.  There are some parts from the hearing that I REALLY want to skip ahead to re-read (like the DA’s argument for her continued incarceration and then her defense lawyer’s response and then also the victim statements…those were incredibly compelling).  However, I want to read from beginning to end, in context because I’ve already seen a few details that I missed that day…so, I wonder how much more I will learn from reading them in order. 

I have to teach 7th & 8th graders tomorrow…I wish I had fallen asleep 3 hours ago so that I could be fresh.  However, the transcripts are timely…just a reminder that every person/child matters and you never know where people have been or what they’ve been through.  Especially children.